Ever since we were little, we have been told that we must forgive those who offend us, but have we really started to analyze why we should learn to forgive others? What are the benefits of knowing how to forgive? How does it make us better people?
The word “forgive” comes from the union of two Latin prefixes that are “per” and “donare”. “Per” means to pass over something and “donare” refers to donate or give something. Therefore, to forgive is to forgive the offense that a certain person has committed against us and not to hold a grudge or punish him for it.
Forgiveness is not excusing the offender’s behavior, it is abandoning resentment and seeing the other as a human being despite what they have done.
When we forgive, the values of humility, nobility, and kindness take precedence over pride, resentment, and anger. The former arise from love, and the latter, from hatred. But as you will see in the following reflection that talks about the importance of forgiveness, punishment is not only for those who do not forgive, but also for ourselves …
For people without forgiveness of heart, their life is a worse punishment than death. – Karate Kid
Love unites and resentment separates.
But it is not easy to forgive when we have been deeply hurt or when someone has done something against us.
However, we do not realize that when we do not forgive many times we suffer much more than the one who offended or hurt us in the first place because we are the ones who have to carry resentment, anger or sadness in our heart while the other person perhaps walk around like nothing.
Nor is it that we want something bad to happen to the other or to take revenge, because justice, karma, life will take it away and it is up to us to punish.
It will sound somewhat stoned, but for example, when I do not forgive someone I feel like I bring something ugly inside of me, like a burden, hasn’t it happened to you? Like I want to get it out as soon as possible because it doesn’t let me enjoy or live life 100%, can I explain myself?
I imagine it and I feel like it’s an annoying spike ball that’s there, all the time.
And it’s even worse in cases where the other person doesn’t even regret it or doesn’t ask for an apology, right? And you say to yourself like… “well, how can I forgive him if he didn’t even ask me for forgiveness? Can that be done? ”
But yes, if you can, as long as you no longer keep that feeling of hatred or contempt that you feel towards the other and you free yourself from him to be able to continue seeing life in full color.
There is a phrase that says:
Forgiving is not forgetting, but remembering without hurting us.
I love this analogy that the author and psychologist, Robert Enright, makes when he explains that forgiveness is like that silent gift that you leave quietly on the doorstep of those who have hurt you – even if, as we said, they have not offered you an apology .
And this is said easy, but in practice it is difficult … But do you know something? It is even more difficult to go through life with open wounds that do not heal or let you be happy. Believing that most people are bad, that they are going to hurt you again, and so on.
This is the importance that I personally see in forgiving people who hurt us, not always perhaps because they deserve it, but rather because WE deserve to free ourselves from everything that weighs on us and hurts us.
And sometimes the most ironic thing is that when we make a mistake or hurt someone – which we all do because we are human, we make mistakes and do some nonsense from time to time – and we repent, what we most want is the forgiveness of the other person without thinking that many times we do not give just what we would like to receive.
In other words, when we water it, we want the other to forgive us, but we still do not forgive certain things, can I explain myself?
It is as simple as that: we must forgive, if we want to be forgiven. I don’t know how this works, but sooner or later, we get what we give.
The resentment builds barriers that separate THERE where forgiveness builds bridges of love that unite.
Forgiving belongs to giants, giants who know how to see the value of a life without resentment and who appreciate the fruits of acting FROM LOVE, because in life you forgive to the extent that you love yourself.
Learning to forgive not only frees you from those oppressive and negative feelings that prevent you from enjoying life in all its shades, but it will also allow you to experience the following benefits:
Stopping feeling angry or holding a grudge with others will help us stay calmer, improve our health, and lead to a more sad and happy life. Let’s not forget the premise that we are all imperfect and we make mistakes and that, if we want to be forgiven, we must start by forgiving others.
Remember that forgiveness is a barrier that we all have to cross to be totally free within ourselves.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it expands the future.
Tell me in the comments what you think of this perspective. I would love to hear from you!